


Anyone Else But You

by reversetheuniverse



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (This work is officially discontinued. Thanks to all who read it!), Basically a Juno AU, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-05
Updated: 2014-06-19
Packaged: 2018-02-03 12:09:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1744163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reversetheuniverse/pseuds/reversetheuniverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It isn't just a party and it isn't just a couch and it isn't just a stick and it isn't just a minor bump in the road. It's a major bump in the road, one that seems almost impossible to get through. This is where Jade's life gets a little more complicated than she thought it would ever get.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Give me the bathroom pass again," Jade thrusts her hand in front of the cashier. He dons his permanent scowl and raises a brow.

"Another one?" Jade nods placing the ungodly purple box on the counter, her fifth that day. The cashier, Sollux as his name tag says, reluctantly hands her the little key ring with the key to the bathroom on it. Jade takes it from him and swipes the purple box off the counter, making her way towards the drug store bathrooms across the barely swept linolium flooring. "You better pay for that piss stick of yours!" she hears the cashier shout to her as she walks off. She shakes her head and heads into the bathroom, unlocking it with the key and then latching it once she's inside.

Once she's done she reaches the counter and places the ring on top of it, shaking the stick in her hand.

"That little plus sign is so ungodly. Don't they know how to make these things not defective?" Sollux the cashier makes a small tsk noise with his mouth.

"Honey, that isn't a fucking Etch-a-Sketch. You can't just shake that doodle away. This is one doodle that can't be undid, Homeskillet." Jade lets out an elongated sigh and places the exact cash on the counter, walking away after she does so. She throws the stick in the trash can by the door on the way out, pushing her way through the double-doors out into the welcoming sunshine. A breeze passes upon her face and she adjusts the circular glasses sitting upon the bridge of her nose. She takes off down the sidewalk, knowing full-well where she's going.

Her ruby-red Converses take her to a plain, white house with a picket fence around it and black doors and shutters, one that she's been familiar with for a long time. She raps her knuckles upon the door, awaiting for an answer. She could just walk in, but she still does so out of sheer politeness. A blonde-haired lady with a pointed bob answers, flashing Jade a big, pearly-white smile.

"Jade! Rose is just upstairs. Come in, come in!" She holds the door open, willing Jade to step inside. Jade shuffles in awkwardly and brushes past Ms. Lalonde, making her way across the beige carpet and up the stairs. She peeks her head around the corner of Rose's doorway. The similar-looking blonde-haired teen is busy sitting on her bed, typing a million words per minute away on the keyboard of her laptop. She takes notice of Jade standing in front of her after a minute and closes it abruptly, beaming at her friend.

"Jade, what brings you here?" she inquires, patting the bed. Jade plops herself down, leaning onto her back.

"Man, do I have some ground-breaking news to tell you. You think you can guess it?" Rose raises her brow curiously.

"Hmm, can I have a hint?" Jade twiddles her fingers on top of her stomach, appearing lost in thought.

"Let's see . . . the Serket Christmas party." Rose scrunches her brow.

"What happened during the Serket Christmas party? I went to Chicago for Christmas, remember?" Jade huffs.

"Shit, I forgot." She begins stroking her chin. "Hmm . . . I guess I'll just put it this way: what do you call it when the thing you place a hot dog in goes in a heated box container?" Rose laughs.

"A bun in the oven?" She ceases laughter to ponder the statement for a moment. "No way." Jade nods her head.

"You know, after like, three gallons of apple juice and five sticks you'd think maybe you'd come to accept something like that." 

"Whoa, you drank three gallons of apple juice?" Rose says incredulously. Jade looks up at her. "Right, sorry." A moment of silence hangs in the air between the two. "How'd it happen?" Rose shatters the silence. Jade sits up.

"So you at least heard about the Serket party, right?" 

"Vaguely, yes . . . " Rose trails.

"Well, let me just tell you that it isn't a lie when people say the Serkets throw a killer party. I'll just go ahead and tell you I had like, ten martinis while I was there." Rose snorts.   
"Anyway, the party was going great and then your brother arrived--"

"Oh no, Jade. Please tell me you didn't," Rose whines.

"I mean, I had like ten martinis! It was like having beer goggles on, only more sophisticated and way flirtier. So he and his band drank a bunch, too, and then he preceded on singing, 'I Will Survive' in front of everyone--"

"Not that song," Rose interjects.

"Rose, you know it's my lady jam. I was so drunk at that point that even Karkat Vantas could sing it and I would've done him," Jade shrugs. Rose rubs her temples.

"Just stop," she breathes, giving herself a moment to collect herself. "Does he know yet?" Jade shakes her head.

"Nope. I was planning on telling him tomorrow morning. You know, right before his band plays at the Garage?" 

"You keep using that name like it's an actual venue when it's really just my dad's old garage," Rose says unamusedly. "What do you want me to do?"

"So I was thinking that we could steal the couch we did it on from Vriska's room--"

"You did it on Vriska's couch?!" Rose shouts.

"Shut up!" Jade places her hand across Rose's mouth. Rose shuts up immediately. "So I was thinking we could steal the couch temporarily, which shouldn't be hard since the Serkets are out of town, place it on the lawn out at the front of the Garage, decorate it to look awesome, then I tell him." Rose stares at her.

"Okay," she manages slowly a few seconds later. "I'll help you with that. What are you gonna do afterward?" 

"I'm gonna call in for the women's clinic down the street, place an appointment. Shouldn't be too hard." Rose shoots Jade a skeptical look, but then relaxes. 

"You're too crazy for me, you know that? I don't ever know what you're gonna do next, Jade." Jade grins a big, buck-toothed smile.

"Would you want me any other way?" Rose shrugs.

"I suppose not."


	2. Chapter 2

"Careful, careful!" Jade warns as she and her friend lift a sleek, black, leather couch into place on the dewy grass. Rose's face beams bright red as she struggles to set her end of the couch into place. The two set down the couch a moment later and then breathe heavily from exhaustion.

"This girl is gonna kill you when she finds out you took her couch out of her house," Rose comments. "How did you get a key to the Serket's house again?"

"Karkat is persuaded into things too easily," Jade remarks. Rose shakes her head at her licorice-black haired friend. "What?"

"You're just using his little crush on you as a way to get things! You gotta let him off the hook sometime, Jade." Jade purses her lips.

"He's not on my hook. I just happen to ask him for friendly favors and he does so in return."

"Is that what you asked my brother for? A 'friendly favor', as you cal it?" Jade scowls at Rose, throwing a punch at her. 

"Shut up and go. He'll be coming out soon and I don't need his sister here to witness the most awkward conversation in the history of forever," Jade shoos Rose.

"Oooh, if it's awkward then I wanna come," Rose smirks. Jade shoots her a malicious look. "Alright, alright, I'll go. Have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do," she waves goodbye, taking off down the sidewalk.

"A little too late for that," Jade mutters, plopping herself down on the couch. She sets a cd player on the empty side left of her, placing a cd inside titled, 'Surprise Mix'. She leans back and twiddles her thumbs on her chest, occassionally peering down at her own stomach to ponder. She sits up immediately when she hears the front door close abruptly. She takes notices of the tall, platinum-blond haired boy making his way down the steps, his head visible over the tall hedges blocking the view of the stairs. When he gets to the bottom he looks over, taking notice of the leather couch now residing on his front lawn.

"Jade? What are you doing here?" he asks her, his face remaining stoic except for the corner of his mouth that seems to pull up ever-so-slighty at the sight of her. He's tall and lanky, wearing a red t-shirt and black jeans with red Converses to match. On each wrist he dons black sweat bands, and in his left hand he holds two drum sticks.

"Ah, yes, I have a presentation to deliver," she leans over and presses the play button on the cd player. 'I Will Survive' emerges through the speakers and he laughs.

"Why do you wanna go around playing that shit song?" He stops for a moment to think. "What is this about?" he asks cautiously.

"Dave, think back to that momentous occasion that the two of us shared at the Serket Christmas party," Jade leans back into the couch.

"You stole Vriska's couch?! I'm actually pretty amazed," Dave chuckles, giving off his signature side-smirk. "What about it?" The cd cuts and silence hangs in the air. Jade focuses her emerald eyes to the side, not making eye contact with him.

"My eggo's preggo, Papa Bear," she announces. Dave's face goes slack and she wishes that she could see his eyes for once.

"What are you going to do?" he asks, quieter.

"Eh, I'll probably go to a clinic. You know, take care of it before it'll bite me in the ass. I've heard that Women Now takes care of women now," Jade shrugs. "I mean, if you're cool with that." Dave remains stoic as ever.

"It's really your choice, ya know." Jade sighs.

"Yeah, of course. Take care, Strider. Sorry for, you know, having sex with you. I know it wasn't really your fault." Jade climbs atop her bicycle, speeding away down the sidewalk.

"Then who's fault is it?" Dave wonders aloud, but Jade is gone. He sighs to himself, glancing back at the couch in front of him. "Wait a minute, what the fuck am I supposed to do with this couch?"


	3. Chapter 3

"All babies want to get borned! All babies want to get borned!" Jade walks up the road to the clinic just in time to witness a small, one person protest outside.

"Oh, hey, Aradia," Jade greets her.

"Hey, Jade." A pause of silence.

"Well, nice seeing you, Aradia," Jade walks past her towards the clinic. 

"Did you know your baby can feel? It has a heart and everything! It even has fingernails!" Jade stops and turns around.

"Whoa, it has fingernails?" Aradia nods. "Huh. Well, see you later." She continues her walk into the cold and sullen clinic, strolling up at the front desk.

"Name?" the girl at the desk, Porrim, as it reads on her nametag, greets.

"Uh, Jade Harley," Jade tells her.

"Kay, fill this form out. We need to know every little detail about you and your nooks and crannies." She thrusts a clipboard with a yellow piece of paper over to Jade. "Condom? They're blackberry. My boyfriend uses them when we have sexual intercourse and it makes him smell like pie." Jade raises her brow.

"You must be proud. No, I'm refraining from 'sexual intercourse' for a while, thanks." Jade takes the clipboard in hand and walks over to an empty seat at the waiting area. About ten people are there, just waiting for their call up to bat. Jade begins filling out the papers, but she's immediately bothered by a chorus of tapping, scratching fingernails within the entire room. As soon as she gets a whiff of the nail polish the lady across the room is applying, she stands up casually, places the clipboard down, then bolts out the door towards the street, flashing past Aradia.

"Your baby thanks you!"

Her hurried steps usher her off towards Rose's house, a ten minute jog (twenty minutes by walking.) She scrambles up the concrete steps and pounds on the black door in front of her. Rose is the one to answer this time.

"Jade? I thought I was supposed to pick you up in like, an hour," she states, confused.

"I couldn't do it, Rose. It was just, Aradia was there and she told me babies have fingernails, the lady at the desk offered me a blackberry condom, then the whole room seemed to be mainly focused on fingernails--" she starts blabbering, but Rose cuts her off.

"Whoa, babies have fingernails?"

"Apparently so. Anyway, the point is, I'm gonna keep the baby." Rose's eyes widen.

"Jade, we're only sixteen! You can't raise a baby and Dave certainly can't help you! He'd be useless!" Jade puts up her hands.

"No, no, no, no, I meant that I was gonna put it up for adoption instead! Give it to some little family who's depserate for a miniture poop machine or whatever. I know I can't raise a baby and I'd rather give it to someone who could," she reassures her friend. 

"Oh, that's a relief, I guess. Are you going to tell your dad and step-mom?"

"Yeah, I guess I have to, now. They're gonna find out eventually, especially when I start donning a jolly Santa belly. Wanna be there with me for it?" Jade asks her.

"Of course I will. You're my friend. Plus, I don't want to see you get eaten alive by them. One dilemna at a time," Rose says. "Want me to be there when you tell Dave?"

"Nah, he doesn't really need to be in on it as much. It's just his kid or whatever. Doesn't really matter as long as it's not our thing to take care of," Jade shrugs.

"Yeah, it's just his kid or whatever," Rose echoes, and Jade hits her. "You sure you don't wanna tell him?"

"He probably wants it taken care of by any means necessary, I dunno."

"Okay. So what do you want to do now? I've heard there are plenty of couples looking for babies in the Penny Saver." Jade twists her mouth to the side.

"Hmm . . . sure, why the hell not. I guess it'll be nice to do the window shopping for my unborn fetus thing."

"You've got to start calling it a baby. Anyway, I'll go grab the Penny Saver from off the side table in my mom's room. You sit tight," Rose pats Jade briefly on the shoulder and then disappears within her own house. Jade lets out an elongated breath and seats herself on the cold, concrete steps. She looks up when she hears a whirring of small tires across the sidewalk. When the bike stops in front of the house, Dave hops off of it, dropping it on the grass in front of the house. He stops when he takes notice of Jade on the steps.

"Oh, hey, Jade," he waves.

"Hey, Dave. Your band play this morning?" Jade asks.

"Yeah, we did. You know, until Dad shut us down for playing too loudly," he scratches the back of his head.

"Sort of the problem when your only venue is your father's garage, right?"

"Yeah." A gust of wind blows by as the chimes begin clanking together. 

"I'm staying pregnant."

"Oh, you are?" Jade nods her head.

"I figure that some other couple more willing for a b--" she stutters for a moment, "A child would want it. Also, did you know they have fingernails?"

"Really? Fingernails? Go figure," he says, his face full of interest. 

"I hope you're all down with that. I mean, of course, I'm gonna get humongous--"

"I like you anyway," Dave blurts out, face turning a light shade of pink.

"I found the Penny Saver--oh, Dave, you're here," Rose comes out of the house, stopping abruptly at the sight of her brother. "What's up?"

"Oh, I was just stopping by to talk to mom. She in?" he directs his attention towards his twin sister.

"No, not right now," Rose answers, sitting down next to Jade.

"Okay, bye Rose," he says, picking up his bike and swinging his left leg over it. He turns towards Jade. "Bye, Jade. You should stop by and listen to the band sometime." He balances himself atop the bike and takes off back up the sidewalk, disappearing into the distance.

"That boy has it bad for you," Rose says in a sing-songy voice.

"Nah, that's just how Dave is," Jade shrugs it off.

"Jade, I know my brother and trust me, he's got it bad. Why, do you not like him?" 

"It's not that exactly . . . it's complicated. You see, I enjoy his company, but I also enjoy not really putting my feelings out there exactly? I dunno, things become a lot hazier when you have another person growing inside you." Rose shakes her head a little and lifts up the small paper in her hand.

"Okay, so let's look through this bad boy," she flips it open. "Ooh, this one sounds good: single dad looking for heir for dictatorship . . . on second thought, let's look at another page," she slides the page back and looks onto the next one. "How about this one: suburban couple unable to have one of their own is looking for someone who would be willing to have one for them . . . Jade, it covers hospital expenses and everything."

"Lemme see," Jade holds her hand out for Rose to hand her the paper. She places it in her hands and she takes a look at the page. "It says their names are Feferi and Eridan Ampora . . . they look pretty clean cut to me," Jade relinquishes the paper back to her friend. "I'd think I would be willing to hand over my child to them with ease."

"Good. Next step is telling your parents, now," Rose rises from her spot on the steps. Jade groans.

"Can we just skip that step? I'll tell them it's a new fashion craze or something, looking really big."

"C'mon, get your butt up," Rose swats Jade with the paper.

"Ow! Okay! I'm getting up already!" Jade pushes herself up off the ground and the two take off down the sidewalk towards Jade's house. "So, tell me why you think Dave is interested in me," Jade inquires.

"Why? Do you actually care whether or not he does?" Rose gives Jade a quizzical look.

"No," Jade quickly averts her attention, "I was just wondering what made you think that."

"Why don't you figure it out for yourself." Jade groans a little in exasperation but ceases it when they reach the front of her home. "Well, this is it."

"This is it," Jade echoes.

"Shall we ascend the steps into your domain?" Jade stiffens.

"You're gonna have to push me in. I can't do it myself." Rose scoffs.

"Your feet work perfectly fine."

"They don't when they know they're gonna get chewed up along with the rest of me." Rose pushes her forward.

"Quit being a baby and go inside." The two teens ascend into the house, heading towards the living room where Jade's dad, Jake, and stepmom, Jane, happen to be. 

"Hey, Jade," her father greets her from his chair. He is busy reading the paper and smoking a pipe.

"Heeey, Dad. Hey, Jane," Jade acknowledges them in return. 

"What's up?" Jake asks. She tries to respond, but immediately finds herself breathing heavily. Rose goes to her side to pat her back gently.

"You can do this, Jade. You'll be fine."

"Do what? What's going on?" Jake puts his paper down with concern and Jane, who was busy sewing, does the same.

"Okay, so you're probably going to really hate me and chew me out for this--" Jade begins, but is cut off.

"Did you get expelled?" Jane inquires.

"What? No. I'm pretty sure you would've gotten a call or something, but that's not the point. The point is . . . I'm pregnant." Jade lets out a breath of semi-relief once she gets it out there.

"You're what? Who's the kid?" Jake demands.

"The kid? I'm not really sure, I mean all I know is it has fingernails, so . . . "

"Nails? Really?" Jane asks.

"No, I meant the kid who did this to you," he corrects himself.

"Oh, that. Um, it's Dave Strider," Jade kicks at the ground nervously.

"Dave Strider? Rose how could you let this happen?" Jake growls.

"Hey, Mr. Harley, I don't control where my brother's genitals run rampant--"

"Okay, we're done with that," Jade interjects, placing her hand over Rose's mouth.

"Well, have you thought about the alternative?" Jane asks her stepdaughter.

"I did but I can't do it. I thought that maybe, and just hear me out on this one, I could give it to someone who needs it. I mean, I already found a couple in the Penny Saver and I was going to visit them tomorrow," Jade rambles.

"Well, you're a little tough one, aren't you? If you're going to go through this we'll need to visit the doctor's as soon as possible and get you on some prenatal vitamins. I'll make an appointment," Jane instructed. "We'll also have to figure out where you'll deliver."

"I'll come with you to see this couple, Jade. I don't want you getting ripped off by a couple of baby-depraved nutjobs," Jake adds.

"Thanks, Jane. Thanks, Dad," Jade gives them a small smile.

"You know, I didn't think you'd be the kind of girl to do this," Jake remarks.

"I don't really know what kind of girl I am anymore," Jade murmured, turning around and heading up the stairs, Rose following behind.

"Kinda wish it was expulsion, maybe even prison," Jake comments.

"I was banking on that, too," Jane puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"I'm not ready to be a grandfather. I'm barely even thirty-eight," he sighs, placing his face in his hands.

"You're not gonna be a grandfather. Not yet, at least."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while to post! I wanted to change it up a bit and not really follow Juno exactly (I'm still going to do that) but you'll find that this one is probably the most like Juno (hopefully). I tried to rewrite it but it was actually proving to be really hard so I just went with this since it was already written. So please enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

"I don't understand why you're bringing me here. I have to get up in the morning and drive like a zillion miles away so that I can go meet that couple I'm handing my unborn child over to. I mean, I really don't need to be going out late at night especially at a place that is notorious for harboring booze. I'm already pregnant do I really need to get into any more shenanigans?" Jade whines to Rose. Rose rolls her deep blue eyes at Jade.

"Quit complaining. Besides, my brother invited you to come here. I couldn't let you pass up the opportunity to hear him play."

"Ugh, I really wish you two weren't related so you didn't feel obligated to fulfill his wishes," Jade grunts at Rose as they cross over the asphalt to the other side of the sidewalk in the barely illuminated dark. Jade pauses for a moment. "Wait a minute, is this about his pianist?" Even though it is almost pitch black, she can still almost see a blush rise to Rose's cheeks.

"No!" Rose denies, but Jade can see through her facade.

"Uh huh, okay. I believe you," she drawls. "Not. You totally have the hots for him," she grins.

"Well . . . " Rose looks to the ground. Jade grabs Rose by the shoulders.

"Promise me one thing: WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT," Jade shakes Rose violently. Rose's eyes widen with horror.

"Jade!" she exclaims, but shifts her attention once they are at her old house, her dad's place. "Well, here we are. The 'Garage', as you like to call it." The muffled sounds of music can be heard as the two girls make their way to the side of the garage to enter through the side door. Rose pushes it open and they are immediately faced with a crowd of rowdy teenagers with red Solo cups fist-pumping the air. They elbow their way through the mob of drunken toddlers to the other side of the garage where the beaten-down couch rests, the drink table not too far away. "I'm gonna go get a drink," Rose yells to Jade.

"Want anything?"

"Get me a Dr. Pepper," Jade shouts back. Rose nods and makes her way over to the table. Jade takes a seat on the couch right as a couple sits on the other side, making out. Jade makes a disgusted face and sticks out her tongue. They start pushing against Jade and she stands up, looking cross at them. "Oh yeah, making out is all fun, isn't it? But then the dude forgets to put on a condom and it's all babyville for you, Sweetheart!" she shouts at the pair. The two break and stare at her in shock. The girl turns toward the boy and makes a face, getting up and leaving. He furrows his brow and gets up, chasing after her. Rose returns with a red cup in one hand and a Dr. Pepper in the other.

"You alright?" Jade nods her head. "I yelled at a couple of kids so I could get the couch to myself," she says, grabbing the soda out of her hand.

"I told the girl that the guy would probably forget to wear a condom and then she'd be in babyville. She ran. It worked," she says nonchalantly, jumping back on the couch.

"Wow, what is your damage, Jade?" Rose inquires. Jade shrugs and pops open her soda.

"I've got a baby growing in my uterus. It's probably mood swings or something dumb like that. Also, I didn't want two teenagers making out on me. It was gross." Rose sighs and takes a seat next to Jade on the couch, taking a swig of her beer. The two turn their sights towards Dave's band, The Temporal Shenanigans, which consists of Dave himself as the lead singer and guitarist, John Egbert on the keyboard, Karkat Vantas as the bassist, and Sollux Captor on the drums.

"Alright guys, we're gonna take a ten minute break to get some drinks so just sit tight and help yourself to free refreshments and food," Dave speaks into the microphone, pulling the guitar strap over his head and placing it in it's stand once he's done. The four exit the stage and now only loud chattering can be heard by the teens.

"So, are you going to go talk to him?" Jade waggles her eye brows at Rose. Rose punches her on the arm.

"Stop, I am not going to talk to him." She pauses a moment to think, and then, with a devilish grin says, "Unless you talk to Dave."

"No way, I'm not talking to him."

"Oh, come on, Jade. What bad things could happen if you did?" Rose asks.

"Uh, only the thing that's currently decided to take residence in my body," Jade answers, pointing to her stomach. "Need I remind you the situation I'm in?" Rose rolls her eyes.

"Just go talk to him. Tell him you want to be friends. Honestly, he's not that hard to talk to. You and him used to hang out all the time."

"Used to being the operative term," Jade mutters under her breath. "I'll go do it. For your sake, Rose. But you've got to promise me that you'll go talk to John." Rose gives a small nod and heads off towards the drink table. Immediately she is replaced by the masculine duplicate of herself.

"Hey, Jade. Didn't think you were coming tonight," he comments, sipping at his beer.

"Yeah, me neither. Your band sounds pretty good."

"Thanks." A bout of silence rests between the two of them. Jade begins to play with her can tab absent mindedly.

"You know, you should stay a bit longer," Dave begins the conversation suddenly.

"Oh yeah?" she raises her brow.

"Yeah, the second half is always the better part of the concert," he tells her, almost too nonchalantly. Jade raises her brow at him watching as he takes a swig of his beer, his aloofness level increasingly suspicious than normal.

"At least, yours is at any rate?" He chuckles.

"You'll see." Jade lets out a long groan.

"You're so infuriating! Why do you always have to be near me?" He gives her a side glance, his mouth daring to twitch into his smug smirk.

"Well if you are so bothered by me then why don't you leave?"

"Well . . . I just . . . urgh!" She throws her hands up in the air in frustration and lets them fall back at her side. " . . . I was here first," she retorts a moment later. Dave throws his head back in a fit of laughter.

"Ha ha! That's your great comeback? Shit, Harley, you really are something, aren't you?" Jade feels a warmth cross her cheeks and lets out a small squeak. "Did you just squeak?" he raises his brow, letting smugness show across his face.

"Get rid of that smug face! You're so stupid, Dave Strider!" she crosses her arms.

"Oh yeah, what are you gonna do about it, huh?" he jests. Jade suddenly reaches over to rub her hand all over his face. Dave braces himself to hold her back at any cost. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Rubbing that dumb grin off your face!" she shouts, smashing his lips together like a fish. The two are interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. They turn to face John, Karkat, and Sollux.

"Uh, we got a performance to get back to?" Karkat points behind him, one brow raised. Dave stands up immediately, letting Jade fall face first on the couch.

"Right, sorry guys," he says sheepishly. He turns back to face Jade. "Keep watching." He turns back to the rest of the group and leaves, deserting Jade. Rose comes back to join her not too long after.

"So, you really don't like him?" she says in an unconvincing tone.

"Shut up," Jade grunts. After a brief pause she asks, "So, you have fun talking to John?"

"Yes, I did. He's very nice. We talked mostly about music theory, so I won't get into any of that confusing mess for your sake, but we are going out to get coffee tomorrow," Rose chirps jubilantly.

"Well, I'm glad things seem to be working out for you," Jade tells Rose sincerely. The two friends are immediately cut off from conversation by the interruption of Dave on the microphone.

"Hey guys, we're back from our little break." The crowd of drunken toddlers starts cheering. "This next song I'm gonna play for you is one that I wrote recently. It's called, 'Leather Black Couch.' I hope you enjoy it!" Jade nearly spits out her Dr. Pepper and turns towards Rose.

"He didn't," her eyes widen with horror.

"I think he did. Did you tell him you wanted your relationship to be platonic? Because I think you're really underestimating how much he cares for you, Jade." Jade gulps.

"I guess it . . . slipped my mind." They turn back to the band when Dave starts singing.

I _see you sitting there with your tainted black hair running down your back_

_I feel your cool breath on my skin as the gap between us keeps wearing thin_

_I can't control where my fingertips go_

_I can't hold back these impulses that possess me_

_This hunger it holds us_

_This hunger it molds us_

_And I'll ever need is you, baby_

_This hunger it holds us_

_This hunger it molds us_

_And I'll ever need is you, baby And a leather black couch_

"Holy shit," Rose mutters. She looks over at Jade. "So, how you holding on over there?" Jade turns, her chartreuse eyes much calmer than before.

"It's actual really . . . pretty. I don't hate it, but to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about it." Rose nods and the two turn their attention back to The Temporal Shenanigans. The rest of the song goes by in a blur to Jade and as soon as it's over she takes a long breath. "I'm in some deep shit, huh." Rose nods her head.

"Just go talk to him afterward. It'll be fine." Jade leans back and crosses her arms, not uttering another word until their little mini-concert is over. Once they are done and offstage, Jade rises and pushes hurriedly through the crowd to find Dave. She looks everywhere but can't seem to find him, until she turns around and sees a platinum blond-haired boy exit out of the side door of the garage. She sprints over towards it and makes her way outside. When she finds him, he is busy lighting a cigarette.

"You smoke?" she asks quizzically. Startled by her presence, he jumps a bit and then throws the cigarette on the ground, putting it out with his shoe.

"Jeez, don't scare me like that! What are you doing, going around giving men heart attacks like that for?" he gives a side-smirk, sticking his hands back into his pockets.

"I just didn't know you smoked. You didn't have to stop," she says, mirroring him by placing her hands in her pockets.

"Yeah, well, I didn't want to smoke around you incase it was bad for your health." It takes her a moment to realize that he's referring to the baby.

"Oh, yeah. I don't really know about that. This is kind of a first time thing for me," she points out. He chuckles a bit before letting silence fall between them, as if waiting for her to say something. "We need to talk . . . " she trails, kicking at the ground.

"Yeah, I figured as much," he says, thinning his lips. "Is this about you wanting to be 'just friends' with me?" Jade scrunches her eyebrows together.

"How'd you figure it out?" "Rose told me," he confesses.

"Ah, that bitch," Jade curses to the side.

"Don't worry about it. She probably thought you weren't going to do it yourself. Besides, I understand. Being friends with you is better than not being near you at all. You're a cool girl, Harley. I just felt like I needed to share that song with you, regardless." Jade feels her face get hot, silently cursing at herself for getting flustered over his stupid charm.

"Good," she says, giving her head a slight nod.

"Would it be alright if I did something, though? Just to get it out of the way and then I'll never do it again," he asks. She turns back to meet his gaze, raising her brow.

"Yeah, what?" She feels her words immediately cut off as his lips crash upon hers immediately. His left hand gently grasps her waits while the other rests on her cheek, fingers twisted in a lock of her obsidian hair. She is shocked at first then relaxes, raising her hands slowly to grasp his face. Right as they do he pulls back, abandoning her at her spot.

"Just friends," he states, hinting at a slight, unconvincing tone. He turns around and goes back inside, leaving her in the tiny light that illuminates the door.

"Just friends," she squeaks back silently, rubbing at her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA the chapter where I pretend I can write a song for the sake of one chapter.  
> I hope this was a good chapter and everything and there will be more to come I promise. I update on Thursdays now because it's easier for me to do that. That way I don't feel rushed to make these chapters and I can get it done and everything.
> 
> [AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is one of two fics I'm officially discontinuing. I enjoyed writing this, but it was never really my own writing, save for maybe this chapter, and Jade just felt really out of character? Yeah. So I'm sorry, but I'm gonna end it here. Maybe in the future I'll do an awesome re-write for this au because who doesn't love a Juno AU?? But I've got other stuff I'm up to writing, and I've got other better davejade fics that you can read. Thank you to all who read this!!]

**Author's Note:**

> A. K. A. The-Fanfic-I-Didn't-Think-I'd-Write-Because-I-Said-I-Wouldn't-For-A-While.
> 
> This is based loosely off of the beloved movie Juno, where a teenage girl gets knocked up and a whole chain of events happen. 
> 
> Things just seemed a little easier once I was done with school. I can't promise that I'll continue more than a few chapters, but I'll try my darnedest to, that's for sure. 
> 
> Enjoy! :)


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